Cygnus Rock Band - Walking Through The Forest of Life (Revival)

This is the song I treated the cruelest way.

With this song it was like getting a precious, very delicate gift. That gift which is one-of-a-kind. Made with long, thorough work, deeply caring for the details. Made with heart and soul, packed into a small but elegant little box.

And when I took it into my hand, I just saw a tiny little spot on the package 

on the package and not on the gift itself... divine things are spotless, always and forever

If you don't mind, dear Reader, I prefer not to talk about it. In fact, later when I took a better look at it, I realized it was too small even to recognize. It doesn't matter anyway. The song itself matters. And all that it brought with itself.

but it was enough for me to burst into an unexplainable and uncontrollable rage. And regardless of how insignificant this little spot was, I screamed. I grabbed the gift box, rushed onto the top of a 10-storey-block and threw it off. 

The song was begging to me not to do it. I even heard its dying voice telling me something about being the essential core of the album, the life and soul of Revival, without which the entire album wouldn't exist, but I put my hands on my ears and pretended that I was deaf.

I threw it off. I even spitted after it. And I managed to throw it so precisely that it landed right in front of the wheels of a huge truck loaded with concrete.

"Excellent", I thought. I tried not to give any thought about the rapidly growing sadness, bitterness, self-loath, loneliness and guilt in me. I quickly locked myself up into my stone-walled prison. Nobody can find me here. Nobody can see me here. Not even songs. Not even the gods.

I was wrong.

On one hand, the gods did find me, but I'll tell you more about it later, dear Reader. Self-hatred found me. Remorse found me. Pain, sadness found me. Doubt found me. The tormenting thought found me that kept whispering into my ears how I betrayed those that I love more than my own life. They offered me their purest heart, and look how I treated them.

I turned myself into stone as an answer.

Just like with The Perfect Blend and Valkyria Army, I decided not to change my mind ever about it. This is my standpoint, and it will stay like that until the end of time. 

Interestingly, this standpoint seemed especially solid in the case of this song. Probably because the pain and sadness I felt was the strongest with this one. But I decided to be stronger than my own pain and remorse. No one can win against me, not even my own feelings! Not even the gods!...

Life goes on. So what?... It's not a big deal anyway, it happens to anyone having a favorite band that they dislike one or two (or three...) of their songs. They still have a LOT to offer, I will focus on them. 

But the pain just grew in me, no matter how hard I tried to keep it silent. And that little stubborn voice kept whispering into my ears about betraying my most beloved ones.

I hardened myself even more.

Then, as I wrote in the review of The Perfect Blend, I underestimated the gods' power over my life. They pushed me into a situation I didn't expect. Probably nobody else did. Nevertheless as soon as things started to switch, the album's antidepressant, beautiful, joyous song quickly grew on me, and it did so heavily that I don't even want to get separated from it in any sense anymore. The wonderful, deep and poetic hymn about female strength and power also found the way to my heart. And as I was listening to it while writing my recension, discovering the hidden beauty of the bass in it, playing the harpe's part of this song, I felt something

that well-known little feeling

a quiet tickling around my heart.

I know it was Walking Through The Forest of Life, but I hesitated. I was scared. I still couldn't forget that raw, pulsating pain I felt when I took it in my hand for the first time, even if I realized for this point here that it was not the song at all but a row of very old, rotting, deep scars in me. Knowing all this I still didn't have the courage to open the door of my stone prison.

The song was waiting for me outside and I knew it. It brought sunshine, birds' songs and the fragrance of flowers with itself. It brought the soothing sound of a forest brook, the softness of the mosses under the trees. 

They all sneaked inside my prison cell.

The song didn't urge me. It was waiting there patiently until I gathered my pieces and slowly opened my prison door.

It was still very hard. No matter how much the song wanted to hug me and hold me, I still had ice around my heart and I wanted it, too, to get rid of its robes. We worked. A lot. The song worked on me, holding my heart in its hands, keeping it warm to make the ice coat melt. Meanwhile I focused hard to get a grip on its essence, that hidden, delicate and divine beauty I knew it was hiding under its robes.

We made it. Both of us.

Finally we were in front of each other, both of us naked. I was on my knees, trying to hide my wounds that were now all out on the surface. My eyes were full of tears of guilt, shame and remorse. The song was standing there, with its sun-kissed skin, broad shoulders and bright smile. It was reaching out for me.

"I don't deserve you", I whispered.

"Don't talk like that", the song said.

"But look at me", I said in tears. "Look at me, what kind of a creature I am... Full of pain, evil and darkness... How would you describe someone who just throws you away?... A mons..."

But at this point the song stepped to me and put one of its gentle hands on my mouth. It kissed all my wounds.

Then it hugged me and loved my pain away.

"Come with me", it said then.

"Where are we going?"

"To the Composer", the song replied.

The song was right.

This little, barely two-and-a-half minute long instrumental piece is an intermezzo between two songs. That typical song that the average listener

yes, you all out there, with all your earwax 😒

either just lets through without much thinking or in case of giving any thought, it's usually not much more than "ah, so beautiful/romantic/[insert here any sort of glittery and superficial indicative]" and that's it.

This song, dear everyone, is more than the essence of Revival album.

It's just my own, humble point of view of course, but beside being the foundation of this album, you get a tiny piece of the Composer himself into your hands.

This is why the song is so precious and so wonderful. It's very hidden, and this is one of the major gems

not just a gem, it's more

it's like a mystery, a very dear, divine secret

of the entire album.

It's something that doesn't reveal itself easily. Generally it's true for the entire album

hence being the heart of it!

that the listener needs time - long time! -, patience, empathy and a heart wide open to be able to comprehend the real, true essence of all the songs. 

I sense - but it's only my very own thought and correct me if I'm wrong - that it's not just a co-incidence that these three songs (The Perfect Blend, Valkyria Army and Walking Through the Forest of Life) gave me these inner conflicts, to be at variance with myself, to look into the mirror I don't know how many times, questioning myself, hating myself, finally taking a deep breath and going into battle against myself. They stand together, they make a sort of Holy Trinity among the album's songs. I still couldn't figure out fully how they relate to each other, because I'm convinced it points beyond the music, the structure and the themes. Somehow I sense that it's more. We may call it spiritual, but I don't really like such indicatives. Nevertheless I'm working on it.

I remember, as I was listening to it, somehow I expected that it would absorb me, eat me up and possess me as The Perfect Blend did (and does). But I realized that it won't, simply because this is not its nature. Its nature is gentleness, healing, hope, serenity and quiet strength instead of passion, fire and the luscious, shameless enjoyment of life.

And this is how it gives me shelter. With a soft blanket on my shoulders, with showing me the sunrays, placing my hand on the velvety, green moss, letting me heal with its patience, tranquility and peace. And letting me sit down next to the Composer, watching him in awe by every little note of this song, discovering what he offers me so generously, with so much love - meanwhile sensing (very shyly, just trying to comprehend the fact that it's happening to me) the real meaning of this song. The moment when I realize, when I see it with my own eyes and hear it with my own ears how the Composer keeps this entire album together through this little intermezzo. How the tiny notes, the little lines that are not visible for the eye reach out to the other songs - not just those I mentioned above about the Holy Trinity, but every other song - and how they all bear the Composer's presence. Not just his presence, but as if he was alive and breathing in all the songs, all the notes, the tempo, the harmonies, structures, arrangements. 

It's not easy at all to find him. Battles are needed. Constant concentration is needed. Patience is needed. Love, an enormous amount of love is needed. Trust is needed. Constant, tireless, loving trust. Faith is needed. You won't have any road signs. Only the thought that once you find him, you'll know that. And from that point on you'll spend all your time, all the hours, minutes, seconds, moments with discovering him. Happily, humbly, excited, moved, sometimes with throbbing heart, sometimes with tears in your eyes. The more you discover, the more you'll see how much you haven't seen yet. It's an endless, beautiful mystery, and I know that it will never end, it will never expire. 

This is the nature of miracles.